Tag: Family

  • Deep roots grow strong trees

    “I used to think that top environmental problems were biodiversity loss, ecosystem collapse and climate change. I thought that thirty years of good science could address these problems. I was wrong. The top environmental problems are selfishness, greed and apathy, and to deal with these we need a cultural and spiritual transformation. And we scientists don’t know how to do that.”
    — James Gustave Speth

    [This is part two of The Social Side of Climate Change.]

    I’d like to return to the idea, in part one, that connecting our children with nature is key to unlocking both the passion and creativity to address the environmental (and perhaps social) issues facing us today.

    I would argue that our disconnection with nature has paralleled a disconnection with ourselves and one another. We do see this in the ways we relate to one another, very often through screens. Previously our schools, workplaces and families were places to grow in relationship. Critical spaces to test what’s permissible and possible within our relationships. The petrie dish, the first battleground is the family, something I’ve witnessed first hand. Difficult children need more time, more guidance. They need to make trouble in order to learn where and when to stop. This can’t be done if children are more attached to screens (much easier for parents!) than arguing around a board game. We have one child in particular who is very painful to play board games with – they are now in their teens – but we persist. With every argument I remind myself that this is their chance to learn social skills. The siblings often get the worst of their brothers or sisters, but they are all learning and it’s the parent who is most connected to be able to guide them.

    That’s a hard task, not for the faint of heart, the tired or the distracted. Things I and us all have been. And we’re allowed to be. That’s their chance to learn to give space.

    So the social nature of relationships is challenged by our current social cultures.

    Our nature-relationships are also challenged.

    Whereas, once before, outside play made up most of the domain of the young, here they are again constricted from very early ages to an outdoor space the size of a pen. If they walk outside those boundaries they hold hands and cross roads in straight lines, sticking to concrete paths and adult guidance. Gone are the days where mum and dad sent the children of the neighbourhood off together in a group down to the creek to fish with home made rods and hooks, maybe even a bow and arrow slung over a shoulder. Even playing cricket on a nearby oval, away from adult supervision, is a rare thing.

    This disconnection from nature doesn’t allow a child – who becomes an adult – to develop an intuitive sense of the natural world, to observe its rhythms and subtle and intricate interlinkings, to witness the relationship of the wind to the bugs to the birds to the foxes to the rabbits to the pollen to the grass heads to the leaves as they drop in autumn. They don’t see the old wombat hole overgrown with blackberries or the new burrow in the bank of a river.

    They don’t observe how the beautiful Orchard Swallowtail butterfly is the adult of the exquisite, scented caterpillar eating most of the lemon tree’s leaves. They can’t connect that the prolifigation of Painted Lady butterflies is a direct result of the nettle plants that were left to self seed over winter.

    They don’t realise that the answer to the mouse plague is to tolerate the snakes that come up from the nature reserve. They don’t observe to recognise that the snake is more scared of them than they are of it, and it’s more interested in the mice than the human. They don’t see the birds dying in their nests because of the poisoned mice now running from the homes where bait is used to attempt to control the plague.

    If they don’t see this, they don’t get the chance to care. They don’t develop the memory of seeing a sickly bird crouching in its nest, eyes opening and closing slowly as it quietly waits for death to come; or watching a smooth, silky snake swallow a mouse hole before sliding away again; or seeing a fat, brown wombat’s bottom wiggle into the hole it is digging out from under it. Then, as an adult, the plight of the poisoned bird, or the decline of butterflies in a suburb dominated by artificial grass, is so separate from the person as to seem to not even matter to our existence – when this is far, far from the fact.

    A child can quickly become attuned to the balance and imbalances of nature, if we just let them. The chance to sit back and observe nature in action can create children who are able to take stock, put pieces of a puzzle together, be quiet in their own thoughts and allow true creativity to arise – almost spontaneously from the rich hummus of thought that has been allowed to compost in a child’s heart and mind.

    One book I read about this connection spoke of a child in a daycare centre who’s “special place” was sitting, hidden in the one bamboo copse in the corner of the daycare yard. Even in a citified surrounding the child naturally gravitates toward that copse. Not only that, but it was the “special place” of most of the children in that centre.

    In this there is a clue that, building nature-care is as simple as including some wild places in our children’s lives, whether it’s the smallest plot of bamboo, a veggie garden, even a worm farm or a wind chime or an oval on which to watch the clouds. Bringing nature into our children’s lives should be at the forefront of any future-focussed person. Love and instinctive care of the natural world is where any sustainabile living needs to start if it is to be wholistic in scope and effective in practice.

  • Braidwood: Where all is well

    Braidwood really is one of those ideal little towns where you can feel like you are living in the pages of Country Style magazine, or other romanticised vision of country living. Full of boutique shops and cafes, Canberra’s well-to-do & hipsty crowd can feel quite at home here. It reminds me a lot of Bellingen up in Northern, NSW and it might be headed in that direction. Like Bellingen it has resisted instating many of the chain stores and this adds to its charm and ‘authenticity’ (though when a Mill goes from being a Mill to a guest house – well, the only thing authentic about it is its architecture).

    Being a Canberran, I love Braidwood with all its quaint stone buildings and expensive stores, not that I can afford much of it these days, but it’s nice to window shop, my husband, coming from Country NSW does find it a bit trite and inauthentic as a country town, but there can be no denying its picturesqueness and beauty as a place to stay for a few days.

    And so stay we did, my family and I, we managed to get all bar two (which is a good effort when there are a total 19 heads to round up) into the Braidwood Mill, which ended up being a great base for our venue and it worked out well this time around, but is realistically just a tad too small for our large family.

    Braidwood proved the perfect wind down post Christmas, where we could spend time eating good food, walking off our Christmas indulgences, patronising our favourite Braidwood bakery, and carousing over a late night game of Articulate – which is just the funniest game to play with my family.

    We made new discoveries like an exercise park which was as good for the adults as for the kids, a new swimming hole where we found (but did not take) large, freshwater mussels and spend a good couple of hours and I roamed the back streets of Braidwood discovering pokey old cottages at 5.30 in the morning.

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    I have a deep love for my family and investing in times like this is just so good.  Of course my sister-in-law and her new little one were missed, but as we all grow and stretch out into our own paths coming back together now and again cements our place and who we are.

    I keep coming back to the photo of me and my siblings, it amazes me how who we are is so different to who we were, we have all chosen such varying paths, in the mix we have a Horticulturalist, Photographer, Artist/Apprentice Chef, Accountant, Textile Artist/Children’s author/designer and Soldier. Some are frisbie mad, others into the family way, most of us are mad about traveling and if we haven’t yet traveled far we at least want to. Lovers of language, history and philosophy, books, art and music, good food, wine, beer, cider and every single type of cheese you can throw at us, board games, nature, good architecture. When we come together we know we can indulge in the things we love.

  • Chronicles

    It’s been fairly quiet, with hubby out working and many little things to do. Gradual de-cluttering (it is hard letting go of stuff isn’t it, but it sure does feel liberating when you do! – evidence of a slowly changing awareness.), cleaning, writing, studying, teaching (kiddies), walking, playing, party planning cooking, all that…and, oh, catching up with the dearest of friends who have come back to Canberra. That has been wonderfully refreshing.

    I was sad not to take pictures of the mid morning – stretching into mid afternoon – ‘brunch’ we had with these friends. It was such a precious time with us four couples who so naturally and sweetly slot together, whose children play very well together, who so comfortably talk about anything with no judgement, but perhaps a bit of laughing at ourselves and at each other, which friends are so good for, all of it couched in love.

    I’ve found I’ve grown the most through these committed, loving, natural friendships where the stretch is gentle and self-awakening. And so I assume, by being involved in these most beautiful of friendships the growth occurs all around, and my only hope is that everyone has wonderful friends like I do.

    That was Easter Friday.

    Today we are couching it in, the kids are having a video day. I’ve been making sure not to give them any TV time except when needed and so we intentionally go days without any videos, so that I can give them a big sit in with some fun videos without any guilt!!

    Here’s a glimpse through our week, showing you how we got to this day where we are going to sit on our bottoms all day and r e s t.

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    It started with this beautiful ringlet on this beautiful forehead. Chronicles 20002

    We dropped their daddy off at the Governor General House open day to work, and we ducked next doorish to my Nonnas house with their Nonna (my mum) and went for a walk through ‘the forest’. Autumnal colours are just beginning to emerge.

    Chronicles 20003 Chronicles 20004 Chronicles 20007 Chronicles 20008Sophia, of course, found a tree to climb.
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    And daddy found them.Chronicles 20013 Chronicles 20015

    I really love this man.
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    I’ve started my early morning running up again. Now that the weather has cooled off, and my favourite fogs and sharp, crisp morning air are back to greet me in the morning, it is something I anticipate and savour. The earliest mornings are the best of times.Chronicles 20018

    And the Folk Festival.  It’s an annual family event. The boys band played. I spent a bit of time chasing kids around – meaning: no pictures, sadly. I took a few afterwards when Henry was free to help. He has a calming influence on the children, I don’t know what I’d do without him sometimes.Chronicles 20019 Chronicles 20020

    Gunther tried his hand at ‘daddys work’. We have a picture of Sophia doing this at the Folk Festival four years ago. She was five days old.Chronicles 20021

    Look at her today. We tried to join in on the dancing, but Soph was too tired to enjoy it. She was clamouring to go home, which we shortly did.Chronicles 20022 Chronicles 20023 Chronicles 20024

    But not before doing a few essential jumps.

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    And here we are. Movie day. Thank you very much. I’m ready for this day.

    Happy Easter all.

    xo

  • Have Bus Will Travel!

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    Here it is!

    Beautiful Big Bedford.  It has come in the nick of time, at the perfect time and is exactly what we were looking for.  After doing over 3000 kms up and down the south east of Australia (from Taree to Melbourne) in the past week we ended up finding our ideal bus only 15 minutes from Henrys familys place, where we have parked it for all the adjustments we will need to make to get it registered and in running order. In the end we did not compromise on any of the essentials that we wanted which were: Fair price, Bedford, Diesel Engine in good condition, sturdy rust-free body, and minimally fitted out – as we would strip it anyway.

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    We are not kidding ourselves, this is not the end, only the beginning! There is a lot of work to be done, & still lots of research (though we are pretty informed by now!), finally though, action can be taken.  We can begin kitting it out, moving out and moving in.

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    Apart from repainting the exterior we will also strip the entire interior, except for the framing which divides the main bedroom from the bunk & bathroom area and the kitchen and living area – all of that just so happens to be in the exact spots we were planning on putting them – fancy that!  We are going for a clean and neutral look with all of the inbuilt furnishings; light wood floors, beige walls.  We are thinking textured wallpaper for some feature areas (the curved part of the roof), most of the character will come from rugs within and the adjustable furnishings.  Because it is such a small space it is completely necessary to keep things streamlined, light and bright in there.  We are looking forward to buying our own stove and cooktop, LED Lights, solar panels, installing our own plumbing including a composting toilet and Henry has ideas for a passive solar ‘air conditioner’ he is inventing, and basically being able to alter things to be exactly the way that we want them. What a luxury after six+ years of renting!

    It’s a lot of fun to be able to do all this debt free within our budget.  Though home ownership is sometime in the future for us I am trusting that the time to rustle up the money for that will come.  With houses and land so expensive in Australia I feel good about looking outside the box in order to move forward whilst having an adventure at the same time.

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    Living in a bus will suit our family down to the ground.  I watched my children running and jumping around our bus when we brought it home (‘home’ which is now less about ‘where’ and more about ‘who’), and I thought, ‘this suits my kids perfectly!’, with their wild hair, their boundless energy and inquisitiveness.

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    Sophia shouted ‘Oolevoir’ (Translation: Au revoir) out the window and we really will be saying that in just a few months.  But not yet. And not here in this space at least.

  • By the Creek

    This is a snippet of Sutton Country Living that I’d like to remember: our dapples in the creek.  There are some stunning waterholes around this little village.  This is a favourite one as it’s so close to our house.  The day I took this we were ‘fishing’ (with sticks) in this little pool & Soph tried very hard to go swimming in it, but resisted as I urged her to think about how cold it was – and it was that day.  It’s so pleasing to see ones child use their brains and set their own limits, limits that vary from, though are not so very far from your own, and I’m happy with that. I’d rather she use her own head than do exactly as I say.

  • Camping

    Our mindset is adapting to a nomadic lifestyle we will be taking up in April/May next year.  We are preparing ourselves to ‘rough it’, albeit in a Solar Powered Motorhome complete with kitchen, toilet, shower and beds, glorious beds!  I feel like last weekend was our first taste of what this will be like, as, though we’ve camped out before, this time we undertook it with the full understanding that this lifestyle was coming upon us very quickly.

    It was glorious, truly, glorious, to cook by our campfire, by gas lamplight, to put the kids to sleep in their car bed (a brainwave, as one of our swags was unusable), to wake up from my dozing by Henry shooing of the biggest fox he’d ever seen, who left reluctantly, to eat some chocolate together by the campfire under the stars while the kids slept and finally to wake in the cold in the middle of our patch of temperate rainforest.  It was such a refreshment to me, as I have been struggling with our morning routine at home for a while.  It brought me back to the reality of family life, love, life experience, exploring through my childrens eyes while being able to show them new things about the world.

    I do just love, deeply, intrinsically, the natural world and I can not imagine living without access to the great natural regions of our planet.  Regions that have thankfully been saved by conscientious governments and those fringe & passionate greenie groups.  We stopped off at the Franklin-Gordon Wild Rivers National Park in Tasmania on our honeymoon, and I am grateful for the effort of those initial Greens for their persistence in saving such a beautiful natural sanctuary.  I wish there was more of such landscape and less of our offensive modern edifices and contrivances.