Today I went to Gusollios in Young and received a luxurious facial. I won’t say I entirely needed it, but it was great to just lie there for 45mins and not have to think about anything. I have had an absolutely full-on week and so it came at a good time (it was a Christmas present).
Last week I was home alone (in our new home) in a new town (seeing as the last 10months I’ve been living on the outskirts of Young and not really engaging with the community at all) in a house in the middle of a rough street with a questionable history (not for divulging here, sorry). Henry was away for a week.
At first I was a little hesitant (I won’t say scared), but I felt fairly at home and I was keen to clean the house up a bit and sort through some stuff so I pushed the solitude out of my mind and pressed into work.
I decided to simply embrace the week I had alone. I feel like a little sail boat pushed out to shore onto a big, lonely ocean. Friends and family far away, stuck at home without a car, walking to school each day but not talking to anyone really. I could have moped. I could have felt sorry for myself and I nearly did, but I stopped myself. ‘Everyone goes through lonely times’ I said to myself. ‘It’s a season.’ ‘When times are busy I’ll wish for time alone.’ And so I embraced it, I decided that I did not know whether I would get alone time for a while and so I just absorbed it, I absorbed my feelings of loneliness and turned it into solitude, not wanting to feel sorry for myself I chose to think about other people and made sure to smile and chat to Sophias friends at school and even a parent on the last day (actually the local Presbyterian pastor). I even got some real alone time as Gunther was sick and slept for a couple of hours and so, for the first time in forever it was just me! I vegged in bed (something I love to do!), dug in the garden, wrote some letters and caught up on things I’ve been wanting to for a while.
And I’m glad I did.
Since this time…
I’ve discovered some beautiful neighbours who need a lot of love.
I’ve been working on the bus every day until 5pm.
I’ve started up my Uni studies again and have picked up an extra subject.
I’ve got three photography shoots lined up.
I’ve connected with a local church group.
And so the disconnection does not last forever and it can be appreciated for valuable s p a c e in a crowded world. It’s good to be comfortable with oneself.
It seems I haven’t stopped for a week. The mornings are busy getting lunches packed for all of us and making sure Soph has what she needs for school. We build and eat and I squeeze in lectures and readings when I can. When we get back from building at about 6pm it’s a rush to get dinner going, on the table dishes washed, clothes washed (which I am currently doing by hand!! I know, old school!) and hung to dry, kids washed/read to (we do that every night)/dressed and in bed and then if I’m not too pooped more studies again or if I’m a virtuous wife then some time with Henry.
So the moral of this is for me: take what is in front of me and just enjoy it, whatever it may be. If it can not be changed then absorb its lessons even if it makes me uncomfortable. Because it’s all about growth.